The Practicing Progressive

It was right out of a movie script…there I was, passionate disparager of President Bush, spending the final full day of his dismal administration enthusiastically praising the president and wildly cheering as he walked by me, time and time again. Let me explain…

It was right out of a movie script because it was right out of a movie script. “My Name Is Kahn” is a Dharma Productions extravaganza starring Bollywood mega-star Sharukh Kahn whose celebrity status outside the U.S. was confirmed by the hundreds of Indian teenagers standing behind the barricades hoping to catch a glimpse of one of their country’s most beloved actors. I had a much better view than the screaming teens because, once again, during my winter sojourn in Southern California, I am wiling away my retirement days working as an extra in whatever movie or TV show happens to need a slightly balding, semi-alert, ex-preacher to fill in the background. This time it was “Kahn” shooting in LA and New York with a mainly all-Indian crew and cast and which, as best I can figure out, is telling the tale of an Indian traveler to America who gets accused of being a terrorist at a rally for President Bush. I know. I know. G.W.B. is old news but I hadn’t the heart to tell either the director or the star and, besides, movie jobs don’t come easy nowadays.

So, as I said, there I was cheering a remarkable presidential look-alike who, I assumed, was probably one of the few Americans mourning the outgoing administration seeing as he didn’t look in the least bit like Barack Obama. Over and over again, from slightly different angles and under varying conditions of light, the motorcade pulled up before me and the two hundred or so other extras lucky enough to be employed. Each time the faux-Bush popped out of the limousine, we went bananas…waving our little flags and cheering our president on. Acting can be very, very challenging.

As an actor who seeks to find the motivation for any character that he plays, I knew I needed to dig deeper into my casted role of an appreciative American. During each camera set-up, I frantically tried to focus on some presidential precedent that would allow me to more fully understand my responsibility to represent a truly grateful citizen. I have had other difficult tests of my dramatic abilities (most recently in the exhaustingly complex role of Mayor of Munchkinland) but nothing has challenged my thespian talents more than this particular theatrical trial.

I reminded myself that I am now a professional background actor and expected to draw on my own experiences to bring to the screen whatever emotions the director demanded. If this guy wanted gratitude, I was going to give him gratitude in spades. Integrity be damned. This was for my art!

At my age, memory begins to play games with reality and so I knew I would be able to come up with reasons to be thankful for the tenure of our outgoing president. There was that, of course…the outgoing part. And I always appreciated the fact that he had a dog frolicking about on the south lawn of the White House. His choice in a wife seemed spectacularly fortuitous. Surely all of America is grateful for that little bit of good fortune. Laura Bush’s obvious grace and good manners went far in balancing her hubby’s bloopers and blunders. One wonders how many other wars we might have to be waging was it not for the charms and, I suspect, wise counsel of Mrs. Bush.

Although it pretty much exhausted my inner resources, such grateful recollecting provided enough motivation for me to continue to fulfill my dramatic responsibilities. Each take took me closer and closer to the brink but still I was able to muster the means to appear to be deeply thankful. I waved. I cheered. I tried not to throw up. And I triumphed. When the Assistant Director in Charge of Extras so endearingly shouted through his bullhorn for us to “Get out of here and don’t leave any of your crap behind!” I heard in his brief dismissal a deep and profound gratitude for my professionalism.

It also sounded like a good theme for an inaugural address.