The Practicing Progressive

“We are the Comets!
Mighty, mighty Comets!
Everywhere we go,
People want to know who we are,
So we tell them…”

At my age, invitations to high school reunions always contain the implied threat that this may be the last one you’ll be around for. Nevertheless, I haven’t attended one yet and hadn’t considered doing so anytime in the near future. This morning, reading the paper, I came across a little news item that further convinced me to decline the next time another invitation arrives in the mail.

On page 106 of my 1964 Westchester High School annual there is a tiny picture of a tiny girl named Lynette Fromm, or “Squeaky” to her friends. The fact that most of her friends were members of the infamous Manson Family, some of whom were convicted of the brutal murders of actress Sharon Tate, Leno LaBianca and his wife, Rosemary, made her friendship more than a little questionable.

Fromme, you may remember, was convicted of trying to assassinate President Gerald Ford in 1975 and is currently serving a 25 year to life sentence in a Texas prison. Currently, however, only until this next weekend when she is scheduled to be released after being incarcerated for the past 34 years. Reading the report in the New York Times concerning her release, I couldn’t help but wonder if our next high school reunion might be somewhat better attended than in the past.

Still, I’m not that tempted although admittedly I might be more enticed by the appearance of Sherry Alberoni, listed on page 22 along with a litany of accomplishments under her very pretty picture (Senator; Commercants; Thespians; GAA; Girls League Rep.). Sherry was an official Mouseketeer with Walt Disney Productions who drove a pink Corvette and never in the three years we were in high school together ever even acknowledged my existence.

I certainly would be inclined to attend the next reunion if three of my classmates and their band promised to play. Howard Kaplan, (page 30: Valedictorian; UCLA Charter Day Rep.;A Cappella Choir: Section Leader; CSF; Squires; Senator; Boy’s League Rep.; Bank of America Trophy Award in Fine Arts), Al Nichol, (page 33: Varsity Cross Country and Track; Basketball; LMC; Senator), and Mark Volman, (I can’t find him listed. He must have ditched that day.) formed the hit band, The Turtles, shortly after graduation and, presumably, made more money than the rest of their classmates combined including Alan Eisenstadt (page 28) whose impressive list of high school accomplishments was only missing Savior of the Free World to be complete.

While perusing the annual, I couldn’t help but notice that there are none of those punch-in-the-arm clever annotations filling up my autograph page. Indeed, there are no autographs at all. Perhaps this is another reason why I am less than enthusiastic about returning to those (painfully anonymous) days of yesteryear.

My wife recently attended her 45th high school reunion and by all accounts had a great time. In fact, she may have had too good of time. She’s already planning on attending the 50th and has volunteered to serve on the refreshment committee with a guy named Bob.

I was looking through her album from John Marshall High School in Rochester, Minnesota and it is filled with clever remarks and cutesy observations from a thousand of her closest friends. I couldn’t help but notice how messy it made her margins.

Once a Comet always a Comet, I suppose but when you reach my age the thought of renewing old acquaintances and lying about past accomplishments is really just too daunting to contemplate. So maybe I’ll just wait until the 60th anniversary. Who knows? I may still be around…which would allow me to list at least one accomplishment under my picture (page 32).